Why “Surrounded by Idiots” Changed How I See People

Have you ever felt like nobody understands you? Or wondered why some people seem impossible to work with? I used to feel this way all the time until I read “Surrounded by Idiots” by Thomas Erikson. This book completely changed how I look at people and relationships.

What This Book Is Really About

Despite its harsh title, this book isn’t about calling people idiots. It’s actually the opposite. As Erikson puts it, “The problem is never the other person; it’s about the way we communicate with each other.” He shows us that when we don’t understand someone, it’s usually because we think differently, not because one person is smarter than the other.

The book breaks people down into four main personality types using colors:

• Red people are direct and love to take charge
• Yellow people are social butterflies who love talking and being around others
• Green people are calm, steady, and great listeners
• Blue people love details and want everything done perfectly

Why This System Actually Works

What I love about this approach is how simple it is. Instead of complex psychology terms, you just think about colors. When my boss seems pushy, I remember he’s probably a “Red” who just wants to get things done fast. When my coworker takes forever to make decisions, I realize she might be a “Blue” who needs all the facts first.

Erikson explains it perfectly: “If you want to get your message across, you have to explain it in a way that suits the listener, not you.” This isn’t about putting people in boxes. Most of us are a mix of colors, but we usually have one or two that are strongest.

Real Life Changes I’ve Seen

Since reading this book, my relationships have gotten so much better. At work, I now explain things differently to different people. With my detail-loving colleague, I bring charts and data. With my social coworker, I start with friendly chat before diving into business.

My marriage improved too. I used to get frustrated when my partner wanted to talk through every decision (he’s very Green). Now I understand he needs time to process, and I give him that space.

The Best Parts of This Book

It’s easy to read. Erikson writes like he’s talking to a friend, not giving a lecture. You can finish it in a weekend.

The examples are spot-on. Every page has stories that make you think “Oh, that’s exactly like my sister!” or “That’s why my meetings always go wrong!”

It works immediately. You don’t need months of practice. The day after reading it, you’ll start noticing these patterns everywhere.

It makes you more patient. Instead of getting annoyed when someone acts differently than you, you’ll think “Ah, they’re just a different color than me.” As Erikson writes, “It’s not about being right or wrong. It’s about being different.”

Some Things to Keep in Mind

The book does have a few weak spots. Sometimes Erikson makes it sound like everyone fits perfectly into these four types, which isn’t always true. Real people are more complex than any system can capture.

Also, you have to be careful not to use this knowledge to manipulate people. The point is to understand and communicate better, not to trick anyone.

Who Should Read This

This book is perfect for:

• Anyone who works with other people (so basically everyone)
• Parents trying to understand their kids better
• People in relationships who sometimes feel like they’re speaking different languages
• Managers who want their teams to work together better

You don’t need any background in psychology. If you can read this article, you can understand the book.

My Bottom Line

“Surrounded by Idiots” gave me a simple tool that I use every single day. It helped me realize that most conflicts come from misunderstanding, not from people being difficult on purpose. One of my favorite quotes from the book is: “We judge ourselves by our intentions, but we judge others by their behavior.”

The title might sound negative, but the message is actually very positive: we’re all just different, and that’s okay. Once you understand how someone else thinks, you can connect with almost anyone.

If you’ve ever felt frustrated trying to communicate with certain people in your life, this book will help. It’s not magic, but it’s pretty close. For less than twenty dollars and a few hours of reading, you get a completely new way to understand the people around you.

Trust me, your relationships will thank you for it.